It has been four months since my last post! Time certainly ticks by.
A dear friend of mine, who periodically checks my blog, recently commented that I have not blogged in a long time and thought it odd, since so much has been happening in my life of late. My response was that I did not really know what I was comfortable sharing, and so much of my time since my last post has been consumed with what has been happening in my life! Hmmmmmmm.
Let me share some of what has been going on.
On October 31, 2008, I committed myself to a year of "calling the crone". This year will culminate on October 31, 2009, with my Croning Ceremony. Another friend and sister-priestess, Bryn, suggested I take the year to prepare and go deep into my soul to make myself ready to pass through these gates of transformation and step onto a new path as Crone. I have also prayed to my Matrona, Hecate, to guide me in this endeavor.
Well, much has been happening--dreams, wide awake experiences, images in my mind's eye, and amazing tarot cards. I know that I have asked for all of this when I prayed to Hecate to mold and temper me this year--but I never expected it to be so very intense, sometimes painful and always emotional. To this sentiment, my wise friend replied:
"I am surprised at that statement my Dear. What did you expect? You have crossed a threshold and it should be intense. Every emotion must come into full play. What good would experience in only one emotion be? How can one become a true spiritual person without first knowing where their mind can go in all directions? How can one hope to understand someone else's emotions if they have never experienced it for themselves? I know you have felt pain, sorrow, happiness, and other emotions, but now you are experiencing them in a spiritual sense."
What did I expect---indeed!! To be sure, I have taken these very wise words to heart and I have really slowed down and been more in the moment. I am quiet and listen more. I do a lot of sitting outside. There is a lot of energy around and in me right now. It sometimes feels like I have the Northern Lights INSIDE me--swirling and changing colors!
My tarot cards have all been about change, transformation and letting go of the old. All so very appropriate for me, especially now.
I look back along the path and I can no longer see my beginning point, for it is shrouded in the mist of yesterday. I know better than to worry about tomorrow--but, alas, I am but human, and I do sometimes yearn to know what is yet to be. And then Hecate gently reminds me that my life and my tasks are here on the road just in front of me, not up ahead around the bend. Her torches light the small section of the path that I am on--not the entire way.
My emotions are on high alert and I have been just going with them. It is powerful to accept what one is feeling and allow those feelings to emerge, unashamed.
So, though I journey on toward what waits around the bend, I relish each step more, being in the moment and listening with my whole being for that which is offered by the Great Mother in love, wisdom and perfection.